Remembrance
by Vaughn's Jenn
Summary: You look as though you know me. Do I know you? sv :a jennfic:
1. Awakening

**Remembrance**

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_Yet another Jennfic~ Enjoy… I like this one._

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"You look at me as if you know me. Do I know you?" 

His voice is clear today, as strong and sure as his steady gaze which seems to be made even more prominent in contrast to the bland white sheets. 

The cycle starts again.

She gulps a little, smiling while also steeling herself against the tears that are already threatening to fall. She manages to blink them back and almost reaches for his hand before she remembers that to him, she is only a stranger once more.

So Sydney Bristow pulls away her hand, a movement that does not escape his notice and causes a furrowing of his brow in a moment's confusion and frustration, knowing the feeling of loss suddenly, and instead nods at him, promising herself that she will be strong.

"Yes you do. I'm Sydney."

He wants to know her. He sees her looking at him with that softness about her and the way that she, for some reason, seems to glow and all he wants to do is take her in his arms and murmur her name over and over into her neck. He feels somewhere inside of him that this is something he has done before, something she likes him to do. 

But you don't do that kind of thing with strangers.

Even strangers you used to know.

So he nods, opens his mouth to speak. "I'm Michael."

She nods and now he's sure he knows her even if only in some parallel universe. On an impulse his finger twitches to the table beside his bed and, for a reason he doesn't know and can't begin to define or even explain, he merely watches his hands as if they are a separate being as they open the middle drawer. 

A book comes out and even though he can't quite recall its contents or in what context it was given to him, his fingers remember the texture and the pages are worn in just the right places.

He opens up the soft cover made of papyrus and hand bound with love. On the first page is an inscription in flowing cursive though he can still detect old stains made from tears.

_Michael,_

_            So that everything can be seen and experienced with new perspective; So that nothing will ever grow old; So that the memories will never disappear; So that **we** will never disappear._

_                                                With all my love,_

_Sydney___

He looks up and sees her watching him, nodding at the question in his eyes. She hesitates slightly before scooting her chair closer to his bedside and bends over his shoulder, looking at the same pictures he looks at every day, though he does not remember this. Does not realize this. What _she_ doesn't realize is that her hair has tumbled over her shoulders and is now lightly resting on his arm, the one thing he is painfully aware of at the moment.

He returns his attention to the page as she turns it with her delicate fingers but watches the different emotions that cover her face with his peripheral vision as she looks at the memories that he wishes he still had.

The first page is information, as if the book was designed specifically to be a reminder for those who don't remember. There's a picture of her, a small wallet-sized black and white where her hair is pulled back into a strict pony tail and her face is unsmiling.

**SYDNEY BRISTOW**

**Age: 27**

**Birthday: ****April 12, 1974******

**Goal: To become Mrs. Michael Vaughn and to save the world one roundhouse kick at a time.**

Under it is another picture, one full of vibrant colors that are only matched by the vibrancy of the smile that fully covers her face. She is wearing a simple sundress and her arms are lifted , reaching for someone though there the picture is ripped in half and the second identity is unknown.

And one of him, the same serious expression on his face. Wearing a suit. His writing underneath.

**MICHAEL C. VAUGHN**

**Age: 32**

**Birthday: ****November 27, 1969******

**Goal: To one day be worthy and deserving of Sydney Bristow one successful counter mission and sleepless night at a time.**

The second half of the picture. Her long fingers across his eyes, blindfolding him as he laughs, teeth showing brilliantly.

He doesn't know what to say, how he's supposed to feel. This woman, this beautiful woman, might be his fiancée. His wife. A sudden flash grips him.

_Her breaths are soft against his neck, wonderfully warm and sweet, brushing over his collarbone in smooth, light tickles while her fingers entangle themselves in his hair. The sheets are wrapped around them but he slips an arm around her waist to bring her closer to him. Their lips meet in a chaste kiss though it is impossible to maintain because all he feels is explosion and the eruption of sound and color that accompanies the shock of having her by his side. Loving him. _

He shakes his head, suddenly self-conscious of how long he has been staring at her, face flushing ridiculously at the memory of his skin against hers… he doesn't even remember her father's name. 

She sees the look in his eyes and bites her lip. It is truly starting again. She doesn't know whether to be elated or crushed.

 It only hurts so much more when she has to lose all of him again.

_"What's wrong with him?"_

_"It's rather interesting actually Ms. Bristow because you see, this is a strain of the disease that I personally have never seen before."_

_"Don't waste my time telling me about how **interesting** his disease is, Dr. Marcus. I want to know what's wrong with him and how long it will take for him to remember again."_

_The doctor brings his hands together, face molding into an expression of sympathy. _

_"Have you heard of Alzheimer's?"_

_The thrill of fear that runs through her system explodes out of her in denial. "Of course I have but Vaughn's not old enough to have that, he's only 33. There **has to be something wrong with your diagnosis."**_

_The doctor doesn't know how to take this. "It's a strain that I have rarely seen-"_

_"No. You're wrong. If he's got what you say he has, then why the hell does he remember things at the end of the day? And why does he forget again in the morning?" Her voice is taking on a pleading tone, insistent in her need for not only answers but answers that are satisfactory to her. Answers that involve the words 'quick' and 'recovery'._

_"That's what is so strange about his condition. Most people who have Alzheimer's get steadily worse. Mr. Vaughn however gets better and remembers more and more as the day goes on but as soon as he falls asleep, something affects perhaps the memory portion of his brain and when he wakes up he is in the exact condition as he was before."_

_Her jaw clenches as her breath stops. "So you're saying that there's no cure."_

_"I'm saying that there is no permanent cure. If you were to spend the entire day with him, by the end of an eight or ten hour stretch, it would be like being with the old Michael again. For a few hours."_

"Did you just remember something?" Her voice is hardly able to contain some of its emotion when she asks this question. It is the start of her life though in the end it destroys her and she wakes up alone and crying in the middle of the night.

"Yes."

Judging from his flushed face, she decides that it would be better not to ask him about this. 

But she can't help wondering.

"Did you remember something about me?"

"Yes."

She sees it now, the inward struggle of his face, the way that he has somehow lost some of his ability to hide his emotions, the way that fighting emotions are taking over his face. He feels helpless now. Doesn't understand why everyone else remembers things when he has no past. Trying to decide if it will be worth it to forget his pride and ask a strange woman for answers.

"Can you – Can you help me figure some things out?" His voice has been transformed into one of a little boy but she finds this, as she always finds this, rather endearing. 

"Of course I will." She knew he would ask. He always did in the end.

He turns to the next page and sees picture after picture of the two alone, the two with other people, always smiling, always holding hands or at least touching one way or another. And even if they are in a crowd, he can see them as if they are separate because they have a look that no one else seems to share. 

He's staring but he can't figure it out. Why they seem so different from everyone else in the pictures. It's as if they are the only ones that truly love each other because they have been in a situation where they have to know the other completely…

  _"__Sydney__, do you trust me?"_

_"Of course I trust you." Her voice is tinged with a little pause as if she knows that she's not going to like the next words out of his mouth._

_"We're going to have to jump."_

_Almost without hesitation, she nodded._

"Jump?" The word was nearly inaudible but she heard it and turned to him curiously.

"Did you remember something else?" They were coming quick today.

He looked up at her, face steeled, determined to learn everything he could. At the moment, he felt as if that was the only way her could survive. By knowing everything.

"What do we do?"

"What?" This is the first time he has ever asked so outright. 

"How did we meet? What did we do together that made us so familiar to one another and why did we have to jump?"

There's a pause.

"Let's take a walk."

**TBC…**

_Hmm…__ I'm still not sure if this is worth doing more of but I will if you want me to so let me know… I'm thinking that this fic will cover the course of a day and a night and might have a little smut later on if that's the path that the fic leads me down._

_Yes, I did get a little of this inspiration from Nicholas Spark's The Notebook. It didn't start out like that but now it's really similar and if that offends you, I apologize._

_Send me feedback~_

_-Jenn_

_Next chapter of AUS coming out soon…sorry about the long wait but check out my other updates Mornings of Mist and A Lesson in Humility. R/R!_


	2. Haze

**Remembrance**

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_Wow, thank you all so much for reading this fic and reviewing/liking it. I'm glad that you all approve and gave me the inspiration to write this next chapter~_

_EgyptianKat__:__ Haha, don't worry, even if you were the only one to like this fic, your review was so inspiring and great that I'm pretty sure I would have kept it up just for you ;)_

_Dream Writer 2 Life:__ AHAHAHAHA… Queen of Cliffhangers, Master of Flashbacks, All mighty Authoress… I knew there was a great reason why I like you so much. Lol ;)… thanks for your enthusiasm._

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2.

He got out of the bed and when she lightly laid her hand on his arm to steady him, he shivered at her sudden touch and got another flash of a memory.

_He paused, leaning against the doorway, face creased in a smile as he watched the utter serenity that encompassed her face as she slept, her chest rising slowly and rhythmically as she breathed, her head on her arm as she slept in her curved position as if he was still there for her to be curled around._

_And then he missed lying there and moved back to the bed, suddenly feeling that the only thing that he wanted to do was lie next to her and feel the complete length of her body curved inside his. _

_Breakfast could wait._

_He set the steaming tray on the table and crawled back under the covers, glad that they were still warm from his body heat. He curled up around her, placing an arm over her, bringing her closer to him so that he could smell the sweet scent of her hair mixed in with the beautiful smell of her sleeping. _

_He could also smell some of his cologne on her. _

_She stirred in his embrace. "Michael?" Her voice was soft, a mere murmur._

_"I'm right here, sweetie."_

_She nodded then, glad of his assurance and snuggled closer to him, bringing out a smile that showed his utter contentment at that precise moment._

"Michael?" Her worried voice shook him out of his reverie.

"Oh, I'm sorry sweetie." They both stiffened and he looked at her, an embarrassed flush coming over his face. "I'm sorry- I didn't mean- I mean I know that we know each other but I don't really remember knowing you and I didn't mean to call-"

She smiled sweetly at him and he wished he was back where he had been, knowing all of her, snuggling under the sheets to be closer to her. "It's fine. I'm just surprised at how fast you're remembering today."

He grinned. "I've always been a fast healer."

She smiled to herself. He said that every day she had commented on the rapidity of his memory. Too bad it never lasted. Relearning the man she loved everyday was a much harder experience than she ever could have imagined. 

"Yeah, I know."

They walked out the door, him walking in his gown and sandals, her in a light blue dress. She slipped her arm through his and nodded at the lady at the front desk. As they sat on a bench that seemed to exude comfort and warmth, he turned to her.

"I loved you more than anything didn't I?"

Sudden tears sprang up in her eyes but she blinked them away as quickly as she could. He noticed. "Yes. And I think you still do."

He laughed. "The thing is that I do. Something inside of me is telling me that I love you, that I should love you, that I need to love you. But then my logic tells me that it's impossible, that I can't feel something so strong for someone I don't even re-" He stopped mid-sentence, sudden inexplicable anguish covering his face. "This must be so hard for you."

"I would say the same thing to you too."

"But having to go through this with me every day. It must be so hard. For me, everything is always new and so I always believe that what is happening is happening and it's not repetitive, it's not tedious… but for you… I am so sorry that you have to go through the same motions every day for someone who can't even rem-"

"It's not your fault Michael. And it's worth it. Just to be with you and finally experience you remembering me at the end of the day."

He looked up at her, her face somehow so familiar to him. He wanted it to be familiar. He gazed at her features, her textures, attempting to ingrain them into his memory. "_Am_ I going to remember you by the end of the day?"

She smiled. "Yes. The memories won't stop, you know. And then you'll remember everything. Eventually."

He smiled. "Would you mind terribly if I held your hand?"

Sydney smiled and slipped hers into his. "Of course not. I love it when you do."

They were silent for awhile then, she was thinking about the hours to come and anticipating the joy that always came when his eyes finally sparked with recognition and he turned her around to face him with a hungry kiss and the eyes that lingered on her every part in order to remind himself that she was truly there.

He was thinking about how wonderful it was merely to sit there in the warm sun with her hand in his. This exotic, strange, beautiful woman that he had woken up to. Something he had done many times before he supposed. 

God he was lucky.

He stood up, bringing her with him. "Tell me something. Just talk to me. It helps me remember things and I want to remember everything so badly I can't wait for it to happen on its own."

She was only too happy to oblige. Her mere smile sparked another memory.

_She smiled shyly, conscious of his inspection of her though he held onto her arms in order to convince herself of how beautiful she was._

_"You are absolutely gorgeous Syd. I can't believe I **ever found someone like you. And I can't believe that you would want me too." **_

_His lips lowered onto hers slowly, tantalizingly, lifting away a breadth of an inch just to whisper 'Happy Birthday' before kissing her again._

"You don't listen to directions very well. When people tell you to stay, you go, when they tell you to run, you don't… you are a very complicated person Michael Vaughn."

He stopped in his tracks. "What did you call me?"

Her brow furrowed in consternation. "Michael Vaughn…"

"Did you always call me just Michael?"  
  


"No, for about 5 years and then some, you were always Vaughn to me. It seemed more comfortable and that name was special to me because that was the name that not everyone knew you by. So you were mine. My Vaughn."

He nodded. "It sounds familiar. And really good."

_"Oh god.__ Oh Vaughn…" Her cries trickled away as he brought his mouth crashing down on hers, muffling all sounds of ecstasy and release. He felt her fingers run through his hair, entangling themselves into the strands as if in desire of keeping them connected forever._

"You always wondered why I didn't call you Michael much."

"After a while, I became Vaughn. I didn't even _feel like Michael around you anymore. Whenever I was with you, I became a whole other person," He grinned. "A better person. One who knew when to use his own mind instead of just reciting rules from the book. And it just made sense that the new me should have another name."_

She stopped. "How did you know that?"

He paused, unsure of what he was saying. The words that had spilled out his mouth had been natural, easy… if he had thought about what he was going to say, they wouldn't have been said. His statement had come out immediately, like muscle memory. Like practicing piano. After a certain point, the song would play itself out of your fingers without any thought required. However, when you consciously thought about which note to play next, the blunders occurred. 

"I.. don't know," he said helplessly, "What rules? What book? And why do I hate the word 'protocol' so much right now?"

She laughed, surprised. "That's a story that you'll remember soon enough."

His brow furrowed, producing the worry lines she loved so much on his forehead. Without thinking, she traced them with her finger, lightly, intently, not noticing his gaze on hers. 

"Sydney-" He stopped, unsure of what he was about to say.

"What is it?"

"Well… I'm not sure what this says about me as a person and I'm sure it's not that great a character trait and I'm not sure that you would want to know but nearly everything that I have remembered so far has been memories of us… in bed." He stopped, wondering what had made him say that. To his surprise however, she was unfazed.

"It makes sense. You remember things that had the most emotion, the most feeling involved. And we did spend quite a lot of time… together." 

He shook his head smiling. "I must confess this to you every day."

She smiled back. "Not all the days. Sometimes you're too embarrassed to tell me but I can always tell because you hold my hand a little tighter and I feel that you feel as though you know me a little more."

He nodded. "So how did we meet?"

She opened her mouth before closing it again. "You wouldn't believe me at this point if I told you."

"Try me."

Her voice was soft. "I did. I have."

At that, he turned from her though it wasn't before she saw the look of anguish in his eyes. Cautiously she lifted a hand to his shoulder, concern lighting up her eyes. "What is it?"

When he turned back to her, his voice hitched, full of emotion. "This is hard. I feel as if I'm two separate people and it doesn't make sense; it's as if I'm leading two different lives at the same time. I know you but I don't, I love you but I only met you an hour ago… I remember you but your face still feels new to me…"

She kissed him on the cheek. "It's all right. It will pass."

He looked at her. "You would know."

"Yeah. I would."

**TBC…**

**_Moni_****_: FYI, "TBC" means "To be continued"… hope that clears a few things up._**

****

**Thank you all so much for all your support. I'm really starting to love writing this fic. R/R!!!**

**TO AUS FANS: I know what's happening… I just can't get it down on paper/computer screen so just be patient… It's about 1/3 done. Look on the bright side: There's two chapters left not one. And I'm absolutely positive that the last one will come within a week of the Chapter 41. OMG I might actually get to 1000 I think I'm going to hyperventilate ;) **

**Muchos**** loves~**

**-Jenn**


	3. Remember this?

**Remembrance**

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**3.**

_They stood on the pier, not speaking or moving in any excessive manner. They just stood there, completely at peace with themselves and it worked. In some crazy way, this moment in time was perfect without words, without laughter, without physical contact at all. Perhaps it was because they were mere inches away from each other, looking at the sunset over the horizon._

_Or perhaps it was the fact that earlier that day, SD-6 had finally been taken down._

_Looking on as the sky turned into shoots of orange and red, he couldn't help but smile as he remembered the final moments of its demise… the preclude to the rest of his life._

_Leaning there on the wooden railing, he shifted his weight slightly and slipped his hand around hers, watching as a slow smile began to spread across her face in silent and complete happiness._

They walked into the café in the hospital and sat down at the table once they had gotten their food. It was amazing to him that he could look at her for as long as he wanted and still, somehow, never get tired of looking at her, of seeing this beautiful face in front of him.

"All right… so you are basically refusing to tell me anything about how we met, what we do… and yet I'm supposed to remember this all on my own?"

Sydney nodded. "You will. It will be much easier for you to believe me if you have memories of what I am saying already."

"What is SD-6?"

There was a sudden silence and he felt her gaze fall upon him. "SD-6? What do you remember about SD-6?"  
  


"Nothing. I remember that somehow we or somebody else took it down even though I don't know what that means either… it's something bad. And when it was gone, we could be together."

She nodded. "That's right."

He leaned forward, ignoring his mashed potatoes, unknowingly shocking her, as he always did, with his gaze. She was lost, swimming in the spectacular green in his eyes and silently gulped. "What was keeping us apart?"

"Rules."

He pulled back, a puzzled expression falling over his face. "Rules? Do we belong to someone or something?" His crooked grin told her that he joking.

Her serious expression told him that he wasn't far from the truth.

"What would you say if I told you that we worked for the government?"

He wasn't sure how to respond to her question; a part of him wanted to laugh it off as an absurdity but another part of him, a part deep inside of him, responded to her statement so violently that he felt he was going to burst. "I would say that as long as we weren't postal workers… it sounds all right."

She nodded, looking back down at her food and picking up a fork.

"I ha-"

"You hate mashed potatoes. Here, let me take yours."

She smiled at him before nodding. "You always made fun of me for that."

He shook his head slightly. "Yeah… but I think it's pretty stupid for you to hate potatoes…"

"You hate meatloaf."

He thought about it. "Yeah. Yeah I do but seriously… it's meat but in bread-form… how is that more appetizing than steak?"

She grinned, shaking her head.

_"Meat loaf??__ You're ordering meat loaf?"_

_She shrugged. "Yeah, what's wrong with meat loaf?"_

_"It's like… bread… but made out of meat!"_

_"And your point is…"_

_"Well… we're at Ramon's STEAK house and it's our first date out and you're reading from the kid's menu and ordering meatloaf. Does this really not faze you at all?"_

_She had to laugh at the situation he spelled out for her. "All right… what should I order?"_

_"A giant T-bone."___

_She raised her eyebrows. "Mr. Vaughn, you may have amazing metabolism but I can't keep my figure eating T-Bone steaks."_

_He leaned close to her, whispering his next comment into her ear, spreading shivers down her back. "You are gorgeous. Indulge yourself."_

"It's not." She finally concluded ruefully.

"I'm glad that you see my point. No one should ever choose meatloaf when they have the option for steak."

"They should indulge themselves."

He looked up to her, meeting her eyes with a grin. "I was just thinking that."

_"What are you thinking about right now?"_

_She moved closer to him, wanting to take some of the heat that exuded from him to stop her shivering. "Just can't believe how perfect this night has been."_

_He smiled down at her, her head resting on his shoulder. "It has."_

_She nodded. "I still don't understand how you got us in that place. You have to get reservations months in advance."_

_"I did."_

_Sydney__ laughed and she sat up. "Don't be silly. We haven't even been together for months."_

_"I was hoping that we would be together by the time that seats were available."_

_He smiled at the flush that overcame her cheeks. He rubbed a thumb across the soft skin. "Syd… you can't blame me for thinking of it… I haven't been able to not think about you."_

"So what _are_ you allowed to say to me?"

"Well… not much. I guess I'm waiting for you to figure it out on your own so that I can find you again."

For some reason that comment upset him; he wanted so much to be the person that she was waiting for and felt that somehow, he was disappointing her. That he as he was at this moment wasn't enough. She was waiting for someone better.

"Maybe I would remember faster if you jogged my memory."

She shrugged. "Maybe. But you always seem to accept it better when you remember on your own."

He took her hands in his, bringing her gaze level to his own. "I want so much to be the person you want me to be Sydney. But I can't if I don't know what I should be becoming."

Her mouth opened slightly. "Don't think that I'm waiting for someone else Michael… you're not disappointing me in anyway because you are still yourself. I'm sorry; it's just that… I miss you so much."

It hurt, hearing these words. He wanted more than anything to be able to remember this woman already. He was already falling in love with her.

_He felt the anger ball up in the pit of his stomach as he watched the video surveillance. "I'm going to kill that bastard."_

_He watched as Sydney, his __Sydney__, lay on the bed in what seemed to be an inviting position judging from the lascivious look that overcame the man's face. And grinned in satisfaction as he saw the cord pulled tightly against his throat as his face slowly reddened._

_Server 47 was behind the picture frame. _

_He watched as Eric set up the computer, picking up the data that was being streamed to them as she pulled on some clothes._

_…_

_She hurled herself down towards the counter and, with little hesitation and despite his screams of protestation, aimed and shot at the window of the plane._

_Utter speechlessness came over him as he watched helplessly as objects and people were sucked out of the plane; unable to move as he saw the small explosion and the engine catching on fire. _

_And then she came shooting out of the doorway and he breathed a still-shocked-sigh as he saw the parachute bloom from the backpack._

_"She's all yours."_

He shook his head, slow, disbelieving realization coming over his face. His next words were spoken hesitantly, as if afraid of how childish they would sound though he did not know of any other explanation. "Sydney… are we spies?"

TBC…

Review for feedback/more/etc.

-Jenn


	4. Lifting

**Remembrance**

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**4.**

Her mouth was open though this did not help her to say any words. So she just stood there for a moment looking as if she was about to speak though there really wasn't anything to say.

Instead, she looked down at her wrist where a heavy man's watch hung, smiling a secret that he knew he was somehow a part of.

He looked at the golden band, the classic face that stirred some old memory within him and suddenly an epiphany was reached. "That was my father's watch."

Sydney looked up, a strange light in her eyes as she nodded slightly. "Yes."

And then words, his words, came from his mouth, familiar in shape and sound to his lips and, though he felt as if this was a new speech, could not help but wonder at this strange sense of déjà vu which overcame him.

_"This watch belonged to my father. _

_"It's broken now… but it used to keep perfect time."_

_He felt the nervousness start to creep up his throat but he knew that this had to be said no matter what way it was said. _

_"And when he gave it to me, he said you could set your **heart** by this watch. It stopped October 1st. The day we met."_

_He stopped then, feeling all the weight of the watch dragging his hand to the floor; he felt as if he had just offered the world and all he could see was a strange expression of wonderment and slight confusion crossing her face._

_It was at the moment he wished he had taken back his words. But then again, he was glad that he didn't for he could see the way a small smile began to form on her face._

_Her pager went off._

_His did too._

_He cleared his throat, effectively breaking the moment that he wanted to last forever. "__Kendall__."_

_There was slight hesitation on her side and he wondered if she was still apprehensive about his statement. But then she tilted her face so that it caught the light and smiled. "Me too."_

_Somehow, he knew that her answer was far more than what it seemed to be. It was an answer to the unspoken question._

_Her heart had stopped too._

"October first."

She lifted her head smiling a little tearfully. "I hope you know what I meant by my answer."

He smiled back, wondering how he could ever have forgotten this woman that he already loved so much. This woman he remembered loving more than life itself. "Sydney… I knew your answer before I asked the question," he stepped and took her hands in his, a finger lying slightly against the heavy golden band.

"Syd, I've only known you, to my present knowledge, for a couple hours but I already know deep inside of myself that you are the love that I somehow foolishly lost.

"My heart may have stopped on October first and has restarted since then but at this moment, right here, standing before you receiving memories that I don't recall living, I can only be sure of one thing. 

"Today is March 18th and my _heart _has stopped again."

She exhaled in a little puff of breath, escaping her lips with a laugh of utter happiness. She moved into his arms, laying her head on his shoulder, feeling complete once again as he wrapped her in his embrace.

Breathing in the smell of him, she held onto him tight, never wanting to let him go. She lifted her head, a little reluctantly, so that she could look him in the eye. "Michael… you never have to worry about being the man _I **remember**. No matter who you are or whoever you think you are, you will _always_ be the man I love." She kissed him quickly on the lips, kissed him again with little presses of her lips against his before kissing him once more on the cheek._

His hand made its way to the back of her neck and he pressed his lips against her forehead and felt a relief that he didn't remember ever feeling rush through his body as he realized that for the first time, he felt complete. He couldn't help wondering how many times she had gone through these tearful embraces, how many times she had gotten her hopes up at his recollections only to have to start all over again at the beginning of the morning.

A teardrop landed against the side of his neck and she brushed it away with a finger which stayed there after it had served its purpose. "I love you Michael. I love you so much."

The words were a whisper as if they were so full of emotion that they could not bear to be said any louder.

_"__Sydney__… I can't believe at how happy I feel right now."_

_She grinned at him, entwining her fingers with his. "I can believe my happiness. I just don't understand how I came upon you. I can't believe I'm lucky enough to have you here."_

_He laughed at her. "You're stealing all my lines." He brought his lips on hers in a dizzy kiss fueled by romance and champagne. _

_They were hand in hand as they walked towards his car. The minute they entered it, she leaned against him, pressing her lips against his temple, his cheek, everywhere but his mouth until he groaned in frustration and guided her lips to his own, tracing them with the tips of his fingers even as he was kissing them with his own lips._

_His hand traced circles around her back, fingering the soft silk of the dress that had nearly caused him to drop dead when he had first caught sight of her._

_Funny how now he just wanted to get it off._

_He pulled away, leaning against the window. "__Sydney__, I've had two glasses of champagne and I'm fine but I won't be if you keep kissing me."_

_She smiled. "You just can't handle it."_

_"Don't I know it? How am I supposed to concentrate on anything else knowing that you are just sitting there?"_

_"You're my handler Vaughn. You're supposed to know how to handle me."_

_Starting the car with a smile on his face and a laugh in his eyes, he held one hand against her mouth and set the other on the steering wheel. "First of all, I am your **former handler… let's please be clear on that. And second of all, you know just as well as I that the word "handle" when it comes to us has taken on an entirely different meaning."**_

_"And with that new meaning in mind, you **are** my handler." She leaned over, kissing the spot where his neck met his jaw line. "All right, take me home."_

He bent down to kiss the spot where her neck met her jaw line. His voice wasn't above a whisper either. "I don't know if I should be saying this yet but I think I love you too."

"You do. You'll remember soon enough."

"I have."

"More."

**TBC…**

**Thank you so much all of you guys who have been reading and reviewing this fic; I for some reason always have a really easy time writing this chapter and that's partly because of this plotline (that I really like) and mostly because of the wonderful response, support, and feedback that I am receiving from all of you.**

**You guys are truly fantastic and I just wanted to thank you again for making me feel so loved ::blushes::**

**The last chapter of AUS is written but I'm think of rewriting it because for some reason it doesn't seem to fit in very well and I don't know how else to change it so it might take a couple more days. As always, you can definitely ask me to rewrite the chapter (especially because it is the last one) and I'll do my best.**

**Feedback is always greatly appreciated-**

**~jEnNIFer**


	5. Rusted Sepia

**Remembrance**

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_Sorry it's been so long. My muse got sick and went away for a while but I think she's better now… I'm updating but am still unsure of the quality so don't hesitate to ask for a rewrite, I'll do it._

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_Kat: only 8 recently un-updated fics now!_

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5.

She led him to the bedroom and left him standing in the doorway while she opened the lowest drawer and took out a box carved from wood. 

"So this is where you live now?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "For now. Sometimes." She patted the side of the bed next to her and he came towards her with a slight nervousness that she could sense. She looked down at her watch. It was nearly 4 o'clock. 

"Why aren't you working?"

She turned to him and met his gaze with her own. "Where do you think I work, Michael?"

He grinned at her then, flushing slightly under her inspection. He raised his eyebrows. "The CIA?"

Her lack of astonishment gave him the answer that he hadn't been looking for and there was that silent tension resting between the both of them again until he broke it by moving closer to her and placing his hand over hers which was resting on the top of the smooth wood.

"What is this?" He asked, somehow knowing the answer already in his heart.

"Things. Just little things. To help you remember."

He nodded. "Does it work?"

She smiled. "Usually. This is my favorite part of the day... going through all of this... seeing you react and remember..." She was obviously lost in her own thoughts, leaving him feeling chagrined and frustrated with his own inability to help her and be well. She sensed his thoughts and shook his head, allowing him a small rueful smile. "It's not your fault Michael," she stated, removing her hand from under his so that his fingertips were grazing the top of the smooth wood, "close your eyes."

He obediently lowered his lids so that he could feel whatever she was about to lead him through. Her own hands lightly covered his, pressing them into the wood and moving his fingers so that he could feel the smooth texture. "What is this?" he asked softly.

"Shhh."

He was perplexed and knew that something was supposed to happen, that this ritual had worked in the past but now was only a frustration because he couldn't do what she wanted him to do. In the span of a few short hours, the only thing that now mattered to him was doing whatever kept her happy. And it somehow let him feel happy too.

And then the memories came out of nowhere. 

_She looked at the image of his hand in hers and softly traced the lines of his fingers with her own, biting her lip wistfully. _

_"Let me show you something."_

_He nodded, a little wonderingly as she pulled him up from his spot on the couch and led him to her bedroom. He began to raise his eyebrows but stopped them at her playful smack as she sat him on the bed and turned around to get a box from the closet. _

_"What is it?"_

_She sat down next to him, the box in her lap. "Well, I figured that I owed you a present..."_

_He looked at her, a little surprised. "Why?"_

_"The silver picture frame.__ Last Christmas," She grinned at him as she placed the box into his hands._

_He looked at her with half-closed eyes. "Syd, you know you could have given me another present which would have cost a** lot** less thinking__, time__, and money."_

_She laughed. "You obviously don't know how much lingerie costs, Vaughn. And besides, I'm saving that one for later."_

_He turned the box around, trying to figure out how it opened. He saw the creases and crack__s where__ the panels fit together and the circles of wood that were placed on every side of box but didn't see a way to open it. He looked up at the sound of her laughter. "You need four hands."_

_And with th__at, she place__d his hands on opposite sides of the box so that they were pressing on the circles of wood while she touched the remaining panels. The box seemingly sprang open with the surprise a can of confetti might have had. But only a few well-chosen ties sprung out into his laughing face and what was left at the bottom__, among other things, was a picture frame. _

_"You and your imagination, Sydney," he joked, shaking his head. "You are the most original person I've ever met. Really."_

_She laughed and pulled it out. "I'll have you know that I am **very** original and that my present is a lot more valuable that yours because not only did I spend time and energy looking for a frame that would perfectly complement the one you gave me, this one also__ already has a picture inside of it."_

_He took it from her then and looked at the picture with an expression of wonderment in his eyes. "I don't remember __taking this picture.__ And I'm really hoping that it wasn't taken by someone else." _

_Despite his jests, it was the most beautiful __picture he had ever seen. He was sound asleep __on the bed, the sheets wrapped over the both of them while she dozed on his chest, her arm flung across his torso. It wasn't sensual in any excessive way but rather somehow seemed to express the pure innocence and beauty of love that only became perfectly apparent__ and truthful in sleep. Even know he could see th__at their hands were intertwined __under the covers and that there was the tiniest of smiles __resting on his face._

_Good dreams._

_"How did you take this picture, Sydney?"_

_"Do you like it?"_

_He looked up at her and saw in her eyes that she felt the same things when she looked at the picture. That scene, that perfect moment in time was etched in her memory just as it was now etched with his. His response needed only one syllable. "Yes."_

_She understood his slight breathlessness perfectly. "I'm not really asleep in that picture," she giggled, "I had woken up a few minutes before and I had been lying in that same position and you had such a content look on your face that I couldn't bear to let it pass by. I know it sounds stupid but you can see the feeling between us from that picture can't you? It was much more real and__… **there**__…** in real life."**_

_He nodded. "I believe you. I just can't believe that you felt you had to capture the moment so much that you set up a timer on your camera and pretended that you were asleep again."_

_"You have this picture now."_

_He traced the image of her face in the picture. "Yeah. I do."_

Opening his eyes, he saw the slightly expectant look on her face and smiled slightly, taking her hands and placing it on opposite sides of the dark mahogany box. She grinned at his realization and pressed as he placed his own hands in the right places.

And there were two picture frames sitting at the bottom. The first, he felt, was the one he had given her. It was a picture of him looking up, probably at her call,  a complete candid of his looking up with a newspaper lying on the table and a spoonful of cereal in one hand. She loved it. And the second one... The second one still took his breath away.

The picture wasn't done in natural colors or black and white but in a soft sepia that lent a surreal feeling towards the image… as if this was a pocket in time that nothing and no one else could touch.

Here, at least, they would be safe.

**TBC...**

Sorry about the long wait. Gracie lapsed into a coma for the last two weeks and then after she was better, I got caught up in another fic "**The Way It Should Be**" which has been updated every day (I know it's unbelievable).

If you haven't seen it around, you should check it out. It's post the season finale "The Telling" and is an S/V story which gives a take on what SHOULD happen though not necessarily what I think will happen and also gives an account of what occurred during her two-year absence.

Those of you who are waiting patiently and not-so-patiently for "**Far From Home**"... I'm so sorry about the lack of updates but ever since that code, I guess I've been drained. Also, I don't really know how to resolve that cliffhanger. I'll work on it and hopefully it will be up soon.

Also, check out the 5th chapter of "**A Lesson in Humility**" that will also be coming out pretty soon... I like this story because it's really different from my others in the respect that itmoves backwards chapter to chapter. (Think Memento).

Also: in regards to a possible sequel to **An Undefinable Sweetness**; I'm frankly thinking that there won't be one because in my opinion, that story is resolved, done, beautiful, complete, etc. and adding more would only detract from the overall beauty. If one of you comes up with a superb plot, it might happen but I doubt it.

Also check out the update on **Vivian Heights** because it is re-vamped and has a twisted story-line which I thought was cool but not very many people read so try it and tell me what you think.

Thank you for any/all feedback~

-Jenn


	6. Almost

**Title**: Remembrance  
**Author**: Jenn  
**Rating**: PG-13  
**Summary**: if you don't know by now, i'm not gonna tell you   
  
**6::: Almost**  
  
Looking at the picture had filled him with a wonder that he couldn't explain; he could see the peace apparent on their faces. The glow...   
  
There were no words.  
  
There were no words to describe the wonder at seeing two human beings fit so perfectly like that... almost as if they were puzzle pieces, lost for so long, searching for an eternity...   
  
... and now, finally, complete.   
  
He looked at that frozen moment in time, saw how the sheets outlined their bodies, saw the bump where their hands lay intertwined under the thin blanket, the expressions of love- visible even in the stupor of sleep- that was almost tangible.  
  
He had to remind himself to breathe.  
  
And then remembered that the woman of the picture, the woman who he longed to find with a need that was almost painful, was standing right beside him.  
  
Putting the picture softly on top of the bed, the soft red hues muted and framed by the white of the sheets, he turned around and looked at her.  
  
Tears pooling in her eyes, pain etched in her features, longing encasing her entire being, she was even more beautiful than he remembered.   
  
He ran a thumb over her cheek, taking a step closer to her, watching intently as a slow tear dropped over the lid of her eye and began its descent. Feeling unsure and yet at the same time, more secure than any other time, he bent down and kissed the tear away.  
  
"Syd..."  
  
He couldn't finish.  
  
It was too hard.  
  
  
_The dust seemed to clear slower than anything else as his eyes strained to see the one person he was looking for.  
  
And when they found her, he couldn't believe that this was real. That they were here. That SD-6 was gone.  
  
A feeling of empowerment surged through his system and he began walking towards her, watching as she did the same. The gap between them lessened until she was in front of him, ready to pause, ready to say something.  
  
But nothing needed to be said.  
  
And so they kissed, the emotion of it all being unbelievable to him.   
  
**I can't believe I'm allowed to hold her  
That it's her body against mine  
Her arms around my neck  
my fingers in her hair  
she's  
so  
beautiful**_  
  
  
His tears matched hers. "You're so beautiful," he said, his words coming out as a haggard whisper.  
  
Those words threw her over the edge and into the now-familiar emotional abyss she was flung into every day and she grabbed him to her, burying her face in his shoulder, her tears falling hot and fast on the skin of his neck as the full force of her pain and her warmth and just... _all_ of her collided into him.  
  
He didn't know what to say, how to make it better.  
  
All he knew was that he never wanted to make her cry again.  
  
Which made it so much worse knowing that he would.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**tbc...  
  
more?**  
  
  
-jenn   
  
R/R please becuase ya'll know that it rocks my world   
  
i know that it was on the short side but it's got me rollin' so i shoul dbe updating more frequently now


	7. To Cause You This Pain

**Title**: Remembrance  
**Author**: Jenn  
**Chapter**: 7  
**Chapter Title**: To Cause You this Pain  
**Dedications: alli, puddle, Old Romantic, ChocolateQueen, Jen, screech**  
  
7.  
  
To Cause You this Pain  
  
  
He stood there for a moment, closing his eyes, just letting the shock flow through his entire body. He had to digest everything thrown at him.  
  
But he couldn't think.  
  
Not with her in his arms, not with her tears falling in hot splashes against his neck, her hair falling across his arm, her own arms tight around his neck.   
  
All he could do was hold on, just as tightly.  
  
He could stay like this for the rest of eternity, could stand in this single moment in time with this woman forever… and he knew that he would never get tired of it. "I remember SD-6, Sydney," he whispered in her ear.  
  
Reluctantly, she pulled back, looked into his eyes with a look that he couldn't quite decipher.  
Reluctantly, he let her go.  
  
"You do?"  
  
He hadn't been sure if the dust and the remnants of the building that had flashing through his mind was all that SD-6 was to him. He hadn't been sure if that was the whole story. But at the sound of her question, the sound of the complete need and urgency that was apparent in her voice, he remembered.  
  
_"Why are you shaking your head?"  
  
"Because you said **another**."  
  
"So?"  
  
"Well, if you did have another double agent inside of SD-6, you most likely wouldn't tell me until I was authenticated."  
  
He had to hide his grin at the pure candor that erupted out of this woman's mouth. The way her gravity contrasted so starkly to that crazy bright red hair.   
  
"Unless I had an instinct about you."  
  
She looked at him, her gaze unraveling him- unsettling him.   
  
"My guess is that you don't. Have another double."  
  
"We might."  
  
"But you want me to believe that you do so that on the off chance that I'm looking to be a triple agent, I'll report back there was an existing mole to upset the balance of my agency."  
  
He wanted to shake his head and laugh… but he had a feeling that she wouldn't have laughed with him. "I'm not trying to play you… you need a dentist."_  
  
He looked back into her eyes and nodded. "Yeah. I do."  
  
And the tears fell again, breaking another little piece of him. "I… I'm _so_ sorry, Sydney."  
  
She furrowed her brow, surprised. "About what?"  
  
"That I have to put you through this. That you have to put up with me every day with no prospect of progress in the future… that you're still tied to me because I'm alive even though every day is another trial with a man who doesn't even remember yo-"  
  
She put her finger against his lips, quieting him. "Vaughn. Don't even think that. It's _not_ putting up with you… I'm doing this because I _love_ you. I just… I just love you. Because you need me whether you remember be or not. And no matter how much it might hurt in the mornings when you wake up and look at me with a question in your eyes, I wouldn't exchange you for anything. I want to be tied to you forever, Michael. And the flare of recognition when you get a memory, the way you hug me so tight when you realize… it makes everything worth it."  
  
She moved back into his arms, hugging him to her. "It makes _everything_ worth it."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**tbc…  
more?**


End file.
